The Story Behind Madonna Spotlight
A lot of people have asked me why I am such a fan, or why I have spent my time making a web page dedicated to Madonna's work. Well, first of all, I do have more important things to do with my time, and I get those done too, so don't worry. : ) But I enjoy hearing from all of the fans around the world, and it makes me so happy to know you enjoy my page. But I still haven't answered the question what inspired me to create this page. Here's my story.
When I was a little kid, my friends and I used to go rollerskating a lot. I didn't know who sang them, but I really loved the songs they played. There was one called "Lucky Star" and one called "Borderline" and I really loved the one that came out called, "Crazy For You." One day, one of my friends bought this tape called, "Like A Virgin." At the playground during recess, we would put on her tape and swing on the swingsets and play catch while listening to this album by someone called, "Madonna." I remember one of my friends whispering to me one day, "I heard we're not supposed to listen to this tape because it's bad." "Bad?" I asked. "Yeah, because she says 'virgin.'" I asked her, "what's a virgin?" She said, "someone who never did it." I gasped in shock. I still wasn't sure what "doing it" entailed and why not doing it was bad, but I was intrigued that someone would talk about it in a song.
And then "Material Girl" came on the radio. I was in love. I used to spend a lot of time in the basement building forts and listening to the radio, and I loved listening to "Material Girl" because I imagined myself running around JoAnn fabrics with my mom shopping for material. I swear this is true. I sang along with the Chipettes, and I danced and danced with each new song that was released, especially, "Into the Groove."
In fifth grade, we got to sing one "popular" song in choir, and I was thrilled to learn we would get to sing "Holiday" by Madonna. I remember putting on my favorite yellow poofy dress, and holding my little packet of confetti as I gleefully sang "we have got to get together" in front of a small crowd of parents. At the end, we all threw our confetti into the air. I'll never forget how much I enjoyed that experience.
And the songs just kept coming. I especially remember "La Isla Bonita." No song had ever had an effect like that on me. That song came out right as I was discovering boys (the beginning of the end), and it was my own little piece of romance in my emerging little world. And sometimes it still seems like yesterday, not far away.
And then one night my life was forever changed. I used to like to sneak out of my room past bedtime and sit in the hallway to watch the TV in the living room. Especially when "Cheers" was on. One night, my parents were watching the news, and a story came on about the "new Madonna video." They showed a clip of Madonna with beautiful dark hair dancing around in front of burning crosses. The news reporters went on and on about how controversial it was, and I could hear my mother making comments about how she always went "too far" or something to that effect. But I was intrigued. Who was this Madonna, anyway, and just who did she think she was? Who was she that she could stir up an entire nation with a simple music video? And what was she all about? I'll admit, it wasn't until years later I appreciated the song "Like A Prayer," because I was afraid the song was a sin to listen to. Until one day I listened to it with an open mind and discovered the true power of comparing love to spirituality. Now it's my second favorite Madonna song. : )
But that day, an interesting idea was planted in my little head. I realized that people get so upset over what they perceive to be damaging to society, yet in their everyday lives, they violate those principles without a thought. Maybe if society spent a little more time thinking and keeping an open mind, and a little less time judging and basking in the scandal or misfortune of others, we'd be able to take the "Like A Prayer" video for what it was... a STORY. But that whole "Like A Prayer" situation got me thinking about what was important to me in life, and how a true set of values is not undermined by discussion or observance. It wasn't necessarily even what Madonna had to say, but the fact that society wouldn't let her say it. What are we afraid of?
From that day, it was a downpour of excitement in my life. "Express Yourself," that awesome suit, that video, the interviews and the madness. And "Cherish." To this day, "Cherish" remains one of my favorite songs. How could someone who could sing such a joyful heartfelt song be considered so "bad?" I just didn't understand. And in high school, every morning before school, I'd listen to J.P.McCarthy on WJR. One morning, he said, "This is the new song from Madonna." And he nervously laughed. I wondered why. And I heard "Hanky Panky" for the first time. Then Dick Tracy, all that vogueing, Blonde Ambition, the infamous performance of "Like A Virgin," "Truth or Dare," the "bottle!" I remember sitting in church one week, trying not to be heard by the nearby adults, giggling over the "two men kissing" in "Truth Or Dare." It was one of the coolest things I had ever heard of. I remember sitting in church, smirking about it. I only wished I could go see the movie myself. And it was years until I did.
And I will never forget the first time I heard "Justify My Love." I was in the basement alone playing Nintendo and listening to the radio. The DJ laughingly announced a "new Madonna song" and I put the game on pause and listened. It was amazing. I was intrigued by the unconventional lyrics, the funky beat... I'll never forget it.
"This Used To Be My Playground." It is hard to describe the effect this song had on me. I remember, I listened to it over and over again on the radio, and wrote down all the lyrics. I stayed up on school nights just to listen to "countdowns" on the radio where I knew they would play this song. I memorized the lyrics, and sang them whenever I was alone. The summer the song was released, I had a most memorable experience. I was up at Interlochen Fine Arts Camp for two weeks, and not being used to being away from home, I was very homesick, lonely, and tired. A group of maybe ten girls were sitting around during "free time" one day and we started talking about ourselves. I was a euphonium player, but most of the girls were vocalists. We started to talk about the music we liked, and some of the girls, afraid to sound uncultured, mentioned some of the choir music they most enjoyed. I timidly offered, "I really like the new Madonna song." And one of the girls with a just lovely voice began to sing the song from the beginning. I joined in. And by the time we hit the second verse, every girl was singing along. Every one knew the lyrics by heart. I'll never forget that.
And then SEX and Erotica were released. This was the time when I had the least exposure to Madonna, yet found her the most interesting. I didn't see the book, and I didn't hear the album as I was still living at home. I heard "Erotica" on the radio, and I found it to be shamefully catchy. And man, the SEX book. My friends and I, none of whom had even seen the book, talked incessantly about it at times. Some of us thought it was about the coolest thing ever, and some of my other friends said it was sick and wrong. Kind of like "Truth Or Dare" I had to wait until years later to make the final decision on it. And I think it's pretty cool. : )
"Bedtime Stories" was released the year I started college. I had never before had the money to buy CDs, but I started to my first semester in college. I always passed by the Madonna CDs and almost bought them, but never did. Then for my birthday, my parents said I could pick out three CDs for my present. And I got "The Immaculate Collection." I started listening to it a lot. I tried to listen to my other CDs, but I found myself listening to my one Madonna CD all of the time. I loved it. I couldn't stop. Each song contained so many memories, and I found that I loved them more at that time than when they originally came out.
And so I bought "Bedtime Stories." I had heard "Secret" and "Take A Bow" all over the place by then, and I wondered if the rest of the album was any good. And the first time I heard "Human Nature" was the moment I became the fan I am today. It changed my life. "Express Yourself; Don't Repress Yourself." "I'm not sorry... I have no regrets." And it really got me thinking. It's good to be sorry when you make a mistake, or hurt somebody, but why should we be sorry just because other people don't accept or understand things we do? And that doesn't have to be something radical like publishing a book called SEX. It could be standing up for your beliefs, not being afraid to be honest, asking the hard questions... When Madonna proclaimed, "I'm not sorry. WHY SHOULD I BE?" it struck a chord in me, and I thought about my own life, and said, "Yeah, why should I be?" People should always work to better themselves and live with honor and integrity, doing the "right" thing... but the judgement of a person comes from two places... yourself and God. And Madonna suffered unimagined criticism during the "SEX/Erotica" era for expressing herself, and what with her soft new album, and upcoming hopes to star in "Evita" the world looked her way for an apology, and what did she have to say? "I'm not your bitch; don't hang your shit on me." And I said, "YES." My freshman year roommate used to walk in and say, "Oh, so you're playing that whispering song again... great." And she had a right to be annoyed. I couldn't stop playing it. First that song, then the whole album. What a brilliant piece of work that album is. I don't know if I can call it my favorite, but it definitely will always hold a special place in my life. And I still have absolutely no regrets. (Deal with it.)
From then on, it was a mad rush to get the albums. First the singles to "This Used To Be My Playground" and "I'll Remember." Then "I'm Breathless." Then the singles to "Secret" and "Take A Bow." With each new album I bought, I rediscovered the songs I had always loved and fell in love with songs I had never heard. And with each new discovery, I thought it couldn't be possible to discover something new.
I remember when I finally got the guts to buy the "Erotica" album. I thought it would be a shameful collection of shocking, awful things. And when I finally bought it and listened to it, I was shocked all right... I was shocked to find it was a beautiful and emotional album about love and loss. Only two of the songs even deal directly with sex. And once again I found myself wondering what it was that was considered so bad about Madonna? She made great songs that address the most common of problems in a way people can understand. And after listening to Erotica once again, I knew that never again would I let anyone tell me what I was supposed to listen to. I don't need anybody else to decide for me what is consistent with my beliefs, and my lifestyle, and what is music for "intelligent" people.
And through it all, I've never changed my mind. I laughed with glee at the "Human Nature" video. I cried along to the "Something To Remember" album. I made all my friends watch "Evita" with me after surviving the anticipation. I watched in amazement as she sang "You Must Love Me" at the Oscars. And the first time I heard "Frozen" I thought she had read my mind as to what I thought the perfect Madonna song would be.
So I made the "Spotlight." Why? Maybe to show the world what has affected my life in such a wonderful way, maybe to show other Madonna fans that they are not crazy and not unique in their admiration... Maybe just to try to show people who have never been touched by Madonna's music a hint of what she is all about. The messages Madonna sends through her art certainly have affected the way I think and the way I act. I've learned to stand on my own, to make him express himself, to set my goals high and go far, to get up again over and over, to promise to try, to say good-bye, to keep it together in the family, that everything you do comes back in time to you, that love is all we need, and that happiness lies in your own hand.
Madonna, if you ever see this, I just want to thank you for everything. Not as some obsessed weirdo, but as just a woman with a life of her own, but a person who has been entertained and moved by your art for as long as she can remember. I was not your woman, and I was not your friend, but you gave me something to remember... I hear you still say, "Love yourself."
E.D.Ebert, 1998